Last summer, we interviewed Dennis Stanley as he was about to embark on a mentoring role with the One Million Mentors programme. You can read about Dennis’ hopes and aspirations for the scheme in his first interview.
Now, one year on, we’ve returned to find out how the programme is progressing and whether that long-standing itch to support others has finally been scratched.
Remind Us About the One Million Mentors Scheme and Why You Got Involved
The One Million Mentors scheme aims to connect a million young people with a million opportunities through mentoring relationships, helping to increase youth employability, support social action and break down social barriers.
I’d had a desire to do something for the local community for some time and have benefited from mentoring myself, particularly in the early part of my career, so it felt like a great way to give something back.
How Far Into the Scheme Are You and How Is It Going?
The organisation of the scheme took a little time, so I only began my mentoring journey earlier this year. I’ve committed to one session per month over a six-month period and we’re now halfway through our journey.
I’ve been paired with a mentee who is in her late teens, has low confidence and is extremely shy. One of my biggest motivations is to encourage conversation and support her in increasing her confidence levels in a safe and meaningful way.
What Challenges Have You Faced?
The mentoring scheme is online and, due to safeguarding requirements, the sessions operate through audio only.
Whilst this is understandable, it does represent a challenge for me as the mentor. Not being able to see your mentee means you can’t pick up on visual cues through body language. Conversely, I’m an expressive person and use my hands a lot whilst talking, all of which is lost in audio-only sessions.
To compensate, I’ve had to work harder at engaging my active listening skills and continually test my understanding of the limited amount that is being said – typically sentences consisting of only three or four words – in order to offer any useful interventions.
I’ve also found that establishing rapport has been very different in this mentoring context. In a workplace scenario, I might draw on similarities in our working approaches, shared sector experiences, or topical news relevant to a project or client. With a young person, however, the dynamics are different.
You need to find credible common ground that you can build upon to establish rapport and trust, which is challenging when your mentee gives you very little to work with.
What Approach Have You Taken?
I’ve found that a storytelling approach has worked well so far.
By sharing my life experiences and explaining how I’ve overcome challenges, along with the outcomes that followed, I’ve managed to bring topics to life for my mentee.
For example, I can draw on my own feelings of shyness in my younger years and explain how it affected me. We’ve discussed tactics such as modelling behaviour, a technique where you mimic the behaviours of peers or people you respect and perceive as capable of achieving ambitions that you hold for yourself.
It’s a technique that I still use today, so I would definitely place it in the “life skills” category because it can be applied across many aspects of life.
I’ve also had to throw out the rule book to some extent when it comes to traditional mentoring principles. For example, the principle of not filling silence with your own voice and giving your mentee space to think before responding hasn’t been a successful approach for this particular mentee. That’s why storytelling has become an effective way of introducing ideas for her to explore.
What Have You Learned Personally?
I’ve learned a great deal in only three sessions.
One key lesson is that nothing is straightforward. Sometimes you have to take a couple of steps back in order to move forward. Recognising that this is perfectly normal is all part of understanding the bigger picture and the natural mentoring process.
Linked to that, every mentee progresses at a different pace. You might share an idea or piece of advice with your mentee and it could be another two sessions before you see the impact of that conversation.
Different people need different amounts of time to absorb, reflect on and apply information. Because of that, it’s difficult to put a specific timeframe on achieving a mentee’s goals within a mentoring scheme that is ultimately time-bound.
What Do You Feel Your Mentee Has Gained from the Scheme?
Before I began the One Million Mentors scheme, I said that I hoped my mentee would have the space and time for judgement-free conversations with someone who was actively listening, and that this would help empower them as an individual.
We’ve now had three sessions where that time and space has been provided, and I hope she has found those conversations valuable and empowering.
My aim is to help her grow in confidence. It’s small steps at first, but with time I hope she’ll be proud of the progress she’s made and the steps she’s taken forward.
Have You Personally Got What You Expected Out of the Scheme?
Initially, I was hoping for the satisfaction of seeing someone grow in confidence and achieve their goals through the conversations we’d have together.
At only three sessions into the scheme, it’s still difficult to say whether I’ll experience that full sense of satisfaction by the conclusion of the programme. However, I can already see progress being made and, in itself, that’s rewarding.
I’ve always believed that mentoring is a two-way process and this experience has certainly reinforced that belief. It’s helped me learn a lot about my own mentoring style, taught me to be adaptable and reminded me of the importance of recognising the milestone achievements that are scattered throughout any mentoring journey.